Wimpy wimpy me

When I woke up today and went for my run I was thinking this was going to be a slow blog day. I actually started mentally writing a blog in my head about what I am listening to muscially on the vacation. (Don't worry, I will definitely write that one!) See the plan was really just to lay by the beach and head out for dinner. Nice and relaxing. But I can't let that be. After our run and my perfect over easy egg and bacon that Mike cooked for me we went to the beach to enjoy the sun. From the moment I sat in my lounge chair, I begin stressing about the zip line, I started to peruse the internet about this "Extreme" course. I may need to remind you about how I am a wimp when it comes to fast speeds and heights. Every post I read about this thing talked about how fast and long the zip lines were and how challenging the obstacles were so high above. Oh and it lasted 2.5 hours so I better be in good shape. So in my head I came up with a plan. I would see if Mike wanted to drive over to Loterie Farm, where the ziplining was, and do the regualar course. This was called Fly Zone but with no extreme at the end of it. Since I had never done zip lining before I wanted to experience the basic part before I did anything extreme. And so Mike went with me but decided to hold off and follow me on ground since he is still set to do the extreme tomorrow. So I did the hour course. Mike said he saw the fear immediately. It doesn't help that I shake when I am just relaxing so with any ounce of adrenaline in me I look like I am drugged up pretty good. I listened very hard to my instructions from the guide and went through the first ladder balance thingy OK and followed the guide through the first zip line. After that the guide went to the ground and the couple going through the course with me stayed up top. When I went through the next zip line, I forgot to put the zip line part of my harness and hung there for a few seconds trying to figure out while I was not zipping anywhere. The next one we went to I put my hand on the wrong part of the rope and cut it pretty bad. Still I made it through the course and got a bandaid for my booboo after. Mike was very proud but suggested tomorrow I stay by the beautiful fresh water pool they built at Loterie Farm and he would do the Extreme course. I readily agreed. I am glad I did it but that was more than enough adrenaline for me. Mike will post the pics he took of me on Facebook. Believe me, you will sense the fear. After that we came back for lunch. We bought groceries and had some nice bread from a French bakery and deli meat. Also a cheese called pepperoni cheese. Cheddar cheese with bits of pepperoni in side the cheese. Very special. Some reading by the pool finished out the afternoon. For dinner we decided to go to this barbeque place we read about called "Johnny B's Under the Tree". The place is off the beaten path and it is literally Johnny's house and he built a barbeque grill and pit into a tree. You sit at picnic tables and his dogs wander around chilling in his yard with you. You pay this one woman for some beer but that is separate from the food. Johnny's wife comes out and serves you. She barks "What'll you have?" And you just name something that you would want barbequed. Mike had lobster and I had chicken. We were worried she would yell at us if we didnt clean our plates because she took no nonsense. We didn't need pressure to eat it all the grilled meat was great and the rice and beans was the best I ever ate. Glad we found this place and enjoyed Johnny's meat under his tree. After that I felt I needed a dessert since I did two physical activities today so we went to a French pastry shop and then I won 40 bucks as the casino. They also had a raffle for those people who joined the Casino club. It was free and we got 10 dollars to play. Mike and I earned a total of three tickets. We watched everyone else pull out 100's of tickets. We were obviously lightweights and therefore our tickets were lost in that bin. No 1000 bucks for us. Until tomorrow where I lay by the pool and Mike flies through the air. Yes, I will take that wimp title and wear it proudly.

So today was a fairly uneventful day. I have already started obsessing over the fact that I have to go "Extreme" zip lining in a couple of days. Why does it have to be extreme? Why can't it be ziplining down a mountain at a leisurely pace ? Or just walking down a a mountain? Basically this is all I will think about until we do it. Bet you can't wait to read the aftermath post of that event. We left Anguilla and came back to St. Maarten today. We really loved it there. The beach was beautiful but I could have stayed in the infinity pool for life. Except for the cost and the pretentious folk, we loved it. Perfect getaway for our little honeymoon. One story I forgot to mention from last night was when we were done with dinner, for some reason I felt the need to drink the rest of my wine in one big final gulp. Huge mistake because I could not keep it down and spit the red wine all over the table. We left quickly. I am learning French food maybe my favorite type of food besides my real favorite -- all you can eat buffets. That is the best type. We had a great little lunch today in Marigot when we got back to the island. Strangely with everything yor order they give you french fries. We split a pizza and salad and they brought us French fries. Even weirder thing about lunch was that I ordered a mimosa and the waiter had no idea what that word meant. When I said champagne and orange juice he literally brought me a glass of champagne and a glass of orange juice. Allegedly the mimosa was invented in Paris in 1925. Between this, the french fries and the pizza, I am thinking this was not legit French food. We did go to a great French restaurant tonight in Grand Case. It is "a ways" up the island. We really enjoyed the meal there and will be going back to the area for a birthday dinner on Friday. It is my birthday dinner if you forgot. One thing I have been noticing about myself is this stupid thing I do when the waiter comes over and asks us how the food is, I give him/her the thumbs up. Who does that? Me. And I have caught myself doing it at almost every meal. Why? It is either because my mouth is full or I am just the biggest dork in the world. Tomorrow an early run and then who knows. We are working on aschedule for the rest of the week. I need my life scheduled. Mike accomodates when possible.

Viceroy Joy

Wow..so much happened yesterday I am sure I will forget to mention a bunch so here it goes from my poor memory. The day started with a morning run up the coast from Maho Village. I am putting all the weight I lost back on so trying to stay fit during this trip. It doesnt help that after the run I decide we need to find a brunch place. Brunch is not popular in St. MAarten/ Actually we drove to the Phillipsburg, the capitol and everything was closed. All we really found was some guy offering "good weed or any other stuff we needed". This was the least conspicuous attempted drug sale I have ever been a a part of. Also my first. We did find a french bakery that served breakfast all day and enjoyed some quiche and crepes. After that we took a taxi to the Ferry in Marigot. Here we would embark on our overnight trip to Anguilla, BWI. It was a short 20 minute ride with bueauiful views. Upon arrival through customs and immigration, we took a cap to the Viceroy hotel. Our cab driver served as tour guide and told us stories about the island but mostly he warned us of the evils of the sun. Repeatedly. Teling about every passenger he drove and picked up for return who were as red as "chickens." We are not sure why he chose chickens but people were that red. The Viceroy is probably the most beatiful resort I have ever seen. Well kept with impeccable service. All the small touches were great: the cold towel, the sparkling lemonade while you check in, the plate of goodies when you get to your room , your personal plunge pool on your balcony overlooking the ocean, the registration agent who says she is going to send you a bottle of wine for your honeymoon and doesn't. Actually it wasn't a big deal and to tell you the truth, everyone here was celebrating something. The couple we met in the infinity pool was there for their 5th anniversary, the couple we met by our lounge chairs from NYC, for thier first, and the couple we met at drinks were celebrating their 25th (the were also fellow Gays!). The worst thing about this place were the people we didnt meet but we HEARD. I guess at resorts like this it is important to have two qualities: BE LOUD and BE PRETENTIOUS. Picture a gorgious infinity pool with perfect wait staff serving you champagne and having to hear about someones 35 million dollar deal falling through. So you move to the other end of the pool and you hear about how many expensive golf clubs this guy has. So you head to the bar and hear about how this woman sells some pharmaceutical drug that is rare and doctors fight to see her. No one uses gentle conversation voices but rather large, I am better than you voices. Dinner was at 8 and we were heading to Copa, the italian restaurant here. I know Italian in the Caribbean. But it was great. They gave usa table right by the ocean and it was real peaceful. We are pretty sure Amare Stoudemire from the NY Knicks was dining next to us. I would have never noticied him but some rude fan came up and interrupted his dinner to take a picture. No one asked for our picture. I am sure I am forgetting some things: Like the bocce courts (where I beat Mike) and the beaches (where we are headed today)...but I will try to take better notes. Lots of Pics on Facebook. Happy July!

Blogging on IPad

Just so you know...none of the indents/line formating I make while I am typing appear in the blog. Trying to find an app to fix this but not that hard...enjoying vacation too much.

From First Class to Banana Sass - or Day 1

So it's 10 PM in St. Maarten and we are in bed. But we had a great first day. We had an overall good flight down, other than the family with three boys under 7 sitting all around us. Now normally I am all for kids and traveling. Certainly I understand kids are going to act the fool. But if I had to have one more 3-7 year old come up to their Dad (who was sitting directly across from us) and say "I have to go poopy." I was going to lose it. Oh- first and probably only celebrity sighting of the trip occured today at the airport when we arrived. Chad "Ocho-cinco" Johnson is getting married here this weekend and we arrived at the same time as his entourage. Our entourage paled in comparison with his - unless you count our 4 pieces of luggage. The worst part of the day was renting a car. It is always my least favorite part when I travel for work too but in St. Maarten and at the Dollar Rent-a-Car, it is the worst. You have to get shuttled in a van with 30 other people (who smell) and their luggage (also smells) to the Rental location (which smells). You get in a long line (which figuratively stinks) and fill out absurd amount of paperwork, only to be released to the shark pool where people push and act like third graders to get taken to pick up the car. It was a mess. But alas we got our car and arrived at the Royal Islander. Our room is nice and we are right on the beach which I will love over the next few days. We went to get some graceries after since we have a kitchen. I enjoyed the prices: $8 for a pack of Oreos. $5 for a bag of chips. $15 for a 750 ML bottle of Absolute Orient. Check. Grocery money will mostly be spent on Vodka I beleive. What followed was drinks at Sunset Beach bar on the water, a nap at the pool and dinner at Cheri's Cafe across the street from our hotel. Ah and here is where things get special. Cheri's had entertainment. A local band with three male singers dressed in sequin Aladdin outfits. The lead had the largest beer belly I have ever seen. The lead singer's dad was in the audience tonight and they hadnt seen each other in 3 years. He cried. After he dressed as a large banana and sang the Banana Boat song very creepily. As he perused the audience to rub his costume over groups of women. The band also had a guy they called the Generalat the keyboard. He spoke in a deep voice and sang Barry White style. But only in unintelligible phrases. But probably my favorite part of the night (besides the pink clapping toy in the shape of a heart they gave us) was out waiter, Sunshine. Sunshine was a 350 pound large MAN. That is all.

The Honeymoon Spirit

Early in the Christmas season last year, Mike and I were curled up watching a movie on the couch. We were both tired and he suggested we take a nap. I tried my hardest but as many of you know I love me some Christmas. So much so that I just couldn't take my mind off the upcoming holiday festivities. When Mike asked why I couldn't sleep, I replied "I am just so full of the Christmas spirit!" Someone was full of the honeymoon spirit because he couldn't sleep last night. He was up reading at 1 AM and was showered at 3:30. That someone is sleeping next to me with a bloody mary in hand at 7 AM on the first leg of out flight. This is Mike's first--opposed to the guy in front of us who has already been cut off on this flight. Ah that crazy honeymoon spirit. So far things have gone off without a hitch. We got picked up at 4:30 and made it to the airport without any issues. I have only told the lady at the counter checking out bags so far that this was our honeymoon. She got all excited...but no balloons or champagne or anything. If anyone is wondering on this vacation I will be reading a book. I usually try not to read anything but magazines, the NY Post, and TMZ (So long TomKat!) but I feel that maybe I should grow up and actually read some thing that is more than 1000 words long. This week I will be reading "Beautiful Ruins" by Jess Walter. I am hooked. It's a story that spans 1960s Italy all the way to present day Hollywood. If this book fails, I have Andy Cohen's book to fall back on. Figure some trashy Real Housewives stuff will keep me honest.

Things I promise this trip...

1. I promise to proofread.  As I was reliving our Napa trip on the blog, I realized I type horribly. My posts were full of poor grammar and spelling; some of the worst on the internet. Who would have thought I was married to a English Teacher? Or that I was a Writing major? Now one caveat to this promise is I am not bringing a laptop and only bringing my IPad.  So maybe this promise will be broken.
2. I promise to keep a running total of how many times I tell people this is "our honeymoon".  Really hoping to either score some free stuff or upgrades along the way and I also hope to scare the crap  out of some of the more socially conservative folks we meet on the trip.  I can't wait for the first: "Where are your wives?" question posed to us.
3. I promise more pictures and even MORE drawings.  I like to do drawings.
4. I promise more adventure, more action, more romance, more meal descriptions and generally more moreness.
5. I promise to not go scuba diving because I am literally breaking out in hives thinking that Mike might want to do that.
6. I promise to remind you that July 6 is my birthday a few times.  My date of birth is July 6.

Really I think that is enough promises.  I have promised enough.  If I could actually do the math I would finish this post with a the time left before our flight leaves but it got complicated. So until tomorrow...