People Mike Hates (Disclaimer: Mike doesn't hate anyone)

This was a popular post on our last vacation so I thought I would reinventit here. Remember Mike really doesnt hate. These people really annoy him though. No I mean really annoy him...it's almost like hate. 1. Pretentious People. The Viceroy in Anguilla would have been perfect for him except for these people. Next time you see him ask him to do his "I just closed a billion dollar deal" impression. 2. People who drive slow. Also in this category are people who don't pass people who drive slow. Mike did qualify this by saying he is OK with people who drive slow for a reason. I personally had trouble believing that. 3. The surfer activities guy at our Timeshare. I also hated him because he knew noting about any activities. Nothing. Which really makes him bad at his job. 4. People who walk out into oncoming traffic and put their hand out like they own the road. This was such a wierd experience but it happened everywhere and over and over. What is the phenomenon and why do they not have more pedestrian accidents? See point 2. 5. People in the service industry who don't know that they are in the service industry. We had some great service on this trip (namely at the Viceroy and the restaurants in Grand Case) but everywhere else people seemed to have a chip on their shoulder. Sorry that your island bases its success on tourism?

87.526% popular

So we were pretty close to perfect. People sorta like us. Let's start with Thursday night. We were to meet with Annabel and Shawn at a restaurant called SkipJack's. They specialize in seafood. Mmm. We decided to go to the casino and then head over to the restaurant. We got there about 30 minutes early, had a drink and debated whether they would show up. At 8:30 we decided we would give them to 8:45 and then grab a table and discuss our friend inadequacies. At 8:45, we went to a table alone. Wait, what? Is that them coming through the door, apologetic and just done getting lost? Yes that is them. We proceeded to have a great dinner (me with no seafood but beef) and an even better conversation. We talked about our weddings and travels and our experiences in St. Maarten. They had crappy meals and got robbed but were still in geat spirits. I would have been a bitch. Lots of enjoyment was had by all (I am assuming this for them). We stayed out way late (11:30 PM!) and traded Facebook friend requests. Hopefully if they get the link to the blog from my Facebook they get my humor and are not offended that I think their names our Prince Shawn and Princess Annabel from the yet untitled next Disney classic. We should have got their autographs for our neices. (Seriously S and A I am a nice person and we hope you come visit us in NYC!) So at this point we are feeling good about our likability and popularity. So we go to bed ready for our afternoon with Whats-his-name and whats-her-name at thier restaurant whaccha-ma-callit. Actually while we were waiting for the our new friends at the bar we did get the names and location of the restaurant: Phil, Betty and the Three Palms (Directions: between Domino's Pizza nd Adult Toy Shop). On Friday morning we woke up and took a walk and relax the pool before showering and heading to the Three Palms. The place was nice and had a great deck. We went in and the uninterested servers told us Phil was "some where" and walked away. As we thought about it while we were waiting, we really had second thoughts about these folks remembering us...so we quickly left before we saw them. Not as dejected as I thought I would be, we decided to head to Lucus Bay to wade to some uninhabited islands off the coast and explore them. It was a neat experience and I am glad we did it. I think it was off the beaten path so we saw some new and interesting parts of the island. When we were finished, we decided to grab lunch. The menu at the Three Palms looked good and we were in the mood for sandwiches. We figured if we saw Phil and Betty there, we would just play it off. So we went back to the restaurant, met the uninterested waitress and had a seat on the deck. Mike got a great hamburger and I had a chicken club. They were served with the best home made fries I have ever had. Wait...Mike spotted Betty and she didn't runaway. Actually she came over, gave us a big hug and was happy we were there. But seriously she had no idea she invited us. Either did her husband. But they did have her bartender (handsome bugger!) make us a great cocktail after lunch. Te cocktail was the Flying Kangaroo. Love it. So free drinks and "hope we see you again" was almost a home run. So I give it an 87.526% success.

Our day of being popular...will it last?

So if you didn't know this about me, you will now. I love to have people love me and more importantly I love to be the center of attention. I had kept telling Mike that I couldn't understand why people wouldwant to be our best friends on the trip and want to hang out wiht us. All over Anguilla and St. Maarten, I was being my funny, charming self and no one was taking the bait. Surely, it was them and not me and my husband. Until today. Between Mike and I we racked up friends galore. Ok some of it was through alcohol so who knows if any of this is real or champagne/adrenaline induced. But we are gonna milk these forced friendships for all they are worth. Heres how it goes down...Oh and best part...this blog will be a cliffhanger... The weather was much better this morning so Mike would finally get a chance to zip line. Having already conquered the wimpy route, I was destined to lounge in the freshwater pool and drink champagne and chambourd all morning. It was a beautiful morning and I let Mike suit up and go be as extreme as he wanted. Mike went off with the group and I set up at the pool. Mike conquered the great travel friend divide by meeting a couple from San Francisco while zip lining. He shared that he had a wimp husband down below and they shared their troubles with getting robbed and not finding a single good meal on the island. When Mike landed from his adventurous trip, we had dinner plans for this evening with Shawn and Annabelle. To me they sound like a Disney Prince and Princess but I met them and they seemed real (even after 3 drinks before noon). Cliffhanger #1: Will they actually meet us at SkipJacks at 8:30 tonight? They are from San Fran so they must be cool with the Gays. Stay tuned. While I was at the pool, I met Pat and Rick from Southenr California. They were a nice couple in their sixties who brought their three children, their spouses and grandchildren to St. Maarten. Pat and Rick were babysitting while some of their kids went ziplining. Mike was back and soon went to thank them for keeping his wimpy husband company. How Nice! We enjoyed their grandkids Riley (5) and Tyler (2) who reminded us of our neices and nephew back home. We had a nice swim. But we contnued to drink and use the rest of our gift certificate from Lauren and Tony Sturchio. By the way, all this Loterie Farm talk is brought to you by the Sturchio's. Their generous wedding gift made it possible. Back to the start of cliffhanger #2 - Pat, Rick and Mike and I met another couple while swimming. At this point, the champagne has clouded my memory and Mike's is clouded by El Presidentes. We have no idea what these people's names are but we do know they were there celebrating their 7th anniversary, they moved to St. Maarten from South Africa, they own a restaurant and several bars in St. Maarten and we are meeting them tomorrow at 12:30 PM for drinks. I have no idea who we are going to ask for. I remember the bartender at the restaurant they own is named Roger and he is ugly but I will never remember this couple's names. I remember we really enjoyed their company and celebrated with another bottle of champagne but have no idea if these people are real or not. So we will go to the Three Palms tomorrow afternoon and see what happens. We are thinking they aren't going to remember us either. By they way...there was an earthquake last night. We thought it was our imagination but it registered 5.2. We are fine if you were worried.

Catching up...

Sorry. I was a little under the weather last night so didn't feel like typing. I am back to normal today and will try to catch you all up to where we are -- which is a slight dangover (day hangover). Remember the days where you could drink during the day and into the night? Boy, I miss those. Yesterday morning we woke up to the spectacular surprise of rain...and rain that was forecasted to last all day. We decided to still head over to Loterie Farm so that Mike could run the extreme zip lines but when we got over to teh French side of the island, the weather was worse. So Mike thought it was best to postpone zipping til tomorrow and knock some other items off our list. First, we toured around the island to find Ma Doudou. Ma Doudou is a popular rum manuafacurer on the island. I liked it mostly because I could say "doo-doo" and giggle because it sounds like a synonym for poop and that makes me laugh. The flavored rum is sold all over the island in retail stores but we wanted to find where they manufactured it and it was quite the trek. The only real directions were go the "Cul-de-Sac" on the French side and look for small, pink signs. After several wrong turns and a detour to a not so attractive scenic overlook we finally found the gate to enter Ma Doudou. There we tasted and purchased some interesting rums, as well as hot peppers and jellies as gifts. The bottles are hand painted and really cool keep sakes after the rum is gone. After our rum shopping we went back to Phillipsburg to do the souvenir shopping for our nieces/nephew and family. Phillipsburg was packed because two cruise ships docked there so we waded through the masses to find trinkets, toys and booze good enough for our family. We succeeded and stayed dry for the most part. Finally we decided to lunch at a French Wine Bar/Bistro/Store we read about called Bacchus. Bacchus was back on the French side near Gand Case in a strip mall. Location aside this was the best place we had found on the island so far...great drinks, wine and food couple with good service and interensting atmosphere. We had an awesome lunch, more macaroons and bought some great olive oils for home. So glad we stopped here. After our lunch we head home for a nap which turned into a lazy evening of watching old movies (Ghostbusters 2 and James Bond, The Man with the Golden Gun) and bad Pizza. We needed a quiet evening in and this was it. We didn't see any fireworks so it was a wierd july 4th but still a good day. Early night because Mike was once again ready to zip line. More to come...

Wimpy wimpy me

When I woke up today and went for my run I was thinking this was going to be a slow blog day. I actually started mentally writing a blog in my head about what I am listening to muscially on the vacation. (Don't worry, I will definitely write that one!) See the plan was really just to lay by the beach and head out for dinner. Nice and relaxing. But I can't let that be. After our run and my perfect over easy egg and bacon that Mike cooked for me we went to the beach to enjoy the sun. From the moment I sat in my lounge chair, I begin stressing about the zip line, I started to peruse the internet about this "Extreme" course. I may need to remind you about how I am a wimp when it comes to fast speeds and heights. Every post I read about this thing talked about how fast and long the zip lines were and how challenging the obstacles were so high above. Oh and it lasted 2.5 hours so I better be in good shape. So in my head I came up with a plan. I would see if Mike wanted to drive over to Loterie Farm, where the ziplining was, and do the regualar course. This was called Fly Zone but with no extreme at the end of it. Since I had never done zip lining before I wanted to experience the basic part before I did anything extreme. And so Mike went with me but decided to hold off and follow me on ground since he is still set to do the extreme tomorrow. So I did the hour course. Mike said he saw the fear immediately. It doesn't help that I shake when I am just relaxing so with any ounce of adrenaline in me I look like I am drugged up pretty good. I listened very hard to my instructions from the guide and went through the first ladder balance thingy OK and followed the guide through the first zip line. After that the guide went to the ground and the couple going through the course with me stayed up top. When I went through the next zip line, I forgot to put the zip line part of my harness and hung there for a few seconds trying to figure out while I was not zipping anywhere. The next one we went to I put my hand on the wrong part of the rope and cut it pretty bad. Still I made it through the course and got a bandaid for my booboo after. Mike was very proud but suggested tomorrow I stay by the beautiful fresh water pool they built at Loterie Farm and he would do the Extreme course. I readily agreed. I am glad I did it but that was more than enough adrenaline for me. Mike will post the pics he took of me on Facebook. Believe me, you will sense the fear. After that we came back for lunch. We bought groceries and had some nice bread from a French bakery and deli meat. Also a cheese called pepperoni cheese. Cheddar cheese with bits of pepperoni in side the cheese. Very special. Some reading by the pool finished out the afternoon. For dinner we decided to go to this barbeque place we read about called "Johnny B's Under the Tree". The place is off the beaten path and it is literally Johnny's house and he built a barbeque grill and pit into a tree. You sit at picnic tables and his dogs wander around chilling in his yard with you. You pay this one woman for some beer but that is separate from the food. Johnny's wife comes out and serves you. She barks "What'll you have?" And you just name something that you would want barbequed. Mike had lobster and I had chicken. We were worried she would yell at us if we didnt clean our plates because she took no nonsense. We didn't need pressure to eat it all the grilled meat was great and the rice and beans was the best I ever ate. Glad we found this place and enjoyed Johnny's meat under his tree. After that I felt I needed a dessert since I did two physical activities today so we went to a French pastry shop and then I won 40 bucks as the casino. They also had a raffle for those people who joined the Casino club. It was free and we got 10 dollars to play. Mike and I earned a total of three tickets. We watched everyone else pull out 100's of tickets. We were obviously lightweights and therefore our tickets were lost in that bin. No 1000 bucks for us. Until tomorrow where I lay by the pool and Mike flies through the air. Yes, I will take that wimp title and wear it proudly.

So today was a fairly uneventful day. I have already started obsessing over the fact that I have to go "Extreme" zip lining in a couple of days. Why does it have to be extreme? Why can't it be ziplining down a mountain at a leisurely pace ? Or just walking down a a mountain? Basically this is all I will think about until we do it. Bet you can't wait to read the aftermath post of that event. We left Anguilla and came back to St. Maarten today. We really loved it there. The beach was beautiful but I could have stayed in the infinity pool for life. Except for the cost and the pretentious folk, we loved it. Perfect getaway for our little honeymoon. One story I forgot to mention from last night was when we were done with dinner, for some reason I felt the need to drink the rest of my wine in one big final gulp. Huge mistake because I could not keep it down and spit the red wine all over the table. We left quickly. I am learning French food maybe my favorite type of food besides my real favorite -- all you can eat buffets. That is the best type. We had a great little lunch today in Marigot when we got back to the island. Strangely with everything yor order they give you french fries. We split a pizza and salad and they brought us French fries. Even weirder thing about lunch was that I ordered a mimosa and the waiter had no idea what that word meant. When I said champagne and orange juice he literally brought me a glass of champagne and a glass of orange juice. Allegedly the mimosa was invented in Paris in 1925. Between this, the french fries and the pizza, I am thinking this was not legit French food. We did go to a great French restaurant tonight in Grand Case. It is "a ways" up the island. We really enjoyed the meal there and will be going back to the area for a birthday dinner on Friday. It is my birthday dinner if you forgot. One thing I have been noticing about myself is this stupid thing I do when the waiter comes over and asks us how the food is, I give him/her the thumbs up. Who does that? Me. And I have caught myself doing it at almost every meal. Why? It is either because my mouth is full or I am just the biggest dork in the world. Tomorrow an early run and then who knows. We are working on aschedule for the rest of the week. I need my life scheduled. Mike accomodates when possible.

Viceroy Joy

Wow..so much happened yesterday I am sure I will forget to mention a bunch so here it goes from my poor memory. The day started with a morning run up the coast from Maho Village. I am putting all the weight I lost back on so trying to stay fit during this trip. It doesnt help that after the run I decide we need to find a brunch place. Brunch is not popular in St. MAarten/ Actually we drove to the Phillipsburg, the capitol and everything was closed. All we really found was some guy offering "good weed or any other stuff we needed". This was the least conspicuous attempted drug sale I have ever been a a part of. Also my first. We did find a french bakery that served breakfast all day and enjoyed some quiche and crepes. After that we took a taxi to the Ferry in Marigot. Here we would embark on our overnight trip to Anguilla, BWI. It was a short 20 minute ride with bueauiful views. Upon arrival through customs and immigration, we took a cap to the Viceroy hotel. Our cab driver served as tour guide and told us stories about the island but mostly he warned us of the evils of the sun. Repeatedly. Teling about every passenger he drove and picked up for return who were as red as "chickens." We are not sure why he chose chickens but people were that red. The Viceroy is probably the most beatiful resort I have ever seen. Well kept with impeccable service. All the small touches were great: the cold towel, the sparkling lemonade while you check in, the plate of goodies when you get to your room , your personal plunge pool on your balcony overlooking the ocean, the registration agent who says she is going to send you a bottle of wine for your honeymoon and doesn't. Actually it wasn't a big deal and to tell you the truth, everyone here was celebrating something. The couple we met in the infinity pool was there for their 5th anniversary, the couple we met by our lounge chairs from NYC, for thier first, and the couple we met at drinks were celebrating their 25th (the were also fellow Gays!). The worst thing about this place were the people we didnt meet but we HEARD. I guess at resorts like this it is important to have two qualities: BE LOUD and BE PRETENTIOUS. Picture a gorgious infinity pool with perfect wait staff serving you champagne and having to hear about someones 35 million dollar deal falling through. So you move to the other end of the pool and you hear about how many expensive golf clubs this guy has. So you head to the bar and hear about how this woman sells some pharmaceutical drug that is rare and doctors fight to see her. No one uses gentle conversation voices but rather large, I am better than you voices. Dinner was at 8 and we were heading to Copa, the italian restaurant here. I know Italian in the Caribbean. But it was great. They gave usa table right by the ocean and it was real peaceful. We are pretty sure Amare Stoudemire from the NY Knicks was dining next to us. I would have never noticied him but some rude fan came up and interrupted his dinner to take a picture. No one asked for our picture. I am sure I am forgetting some things: Like the bocce courts (where I beat Mike) and the beaches (where we are headed today)...but I will try to take better notes. Lots of Pics on Facebook. Happy July!