From First Class to Banana Sass - or Day 1

So it's 10 PM in St. Maarten and we are in bed. But we had a great first day. We had an overall good flight down, other than the family with three boys under 7 sitting all around us. Now normally I am all for kids and traveling. Certainly I understand kids are going to act the fool. But if I had to have one more 3-7 year old come up to their Dad (who was sitting directly across from us) and say "I have to go poopy." I was going to lose it. Oh- first and probably only celebrity sighting of the trip occured today at the airport when we arrived. Chad "Ocho-cinco" Johnson is getting married here this weekend and we arrived at the same time as his entourage. Our entourage paled in comparison with his - unless you count our 4 pieces of luggage. The worst part of the day was renting a car. It is always my least favorite part when I travel for work too but in St. Maarten and at the Dollar Rent-a-Car, it is the worst. You have to get shuttled in a van with 30 other people (who smell) and their luggage (also smells) to the Rental location (which smells). You get in a long line (which figuratively stinks) and fill out absurd amount of paperwork, only to be released to the shark pool where people push and act like third graders to get taken to pick up the car. It was a mess. But alas we got our car and arrived at the Royal Islander. Our room is nice and we are right on the beach which I will love over the next few days. We went to get some graceries after since we have a kitchen. I enjoyed the prices: $8 for a pack of Oreos. $5 for a bag of chips. $15 for a 750 ML bottle of Absolute Orient. Check. Grocery money will mostly be spent on Vodka I beleive. What followed was drinks at Sunset Beach bar on the water, a nap at the pool and dinner at Cheri's Cafe across the street from our hotel. Ah and here is where things get special. Cheri's had entertainment. A local band with three male singers dressed in sequin Aladdin outfits. The lead had the largest beer belly I have ever seen. The lead singer's dad was in the audience tonight and they hadnt seen each other in 3 years. He cried. After he dressed as a large banana and sang the Banana Boat song very creepily. As he perused the audience to rub his costume over groups of women. The band also had a guy they called the Generalat the keyboard. He spoke in a deep voice and sang Barry White style. But only in unintelligible phrases. But probably my favorite part of the night (besides the pink clapping toy in the shape of a heart they gave us) was out waiter, Sunshine. Sunshine was a 350 pound large MAN. That is all.

The Honeymoon Spirit

Early in the Christmas season last year, Mike and I were curled up watching a movie on the couch. We were both tired and he suggested we take a nap. I tried my hardest but as many of you know I love me some Christmas. So much so that I just couldn't take my mind off the upcoming holiday festivities. When Mike asked why I couldn't sleep, I replied "I am just so full of the Christmas spirit!" Someone was full of the honeymoon spirit because he couldn't sleep last night. He was up reading at 1 AM and was showered at 3:30. That someone is sleeping next to me with a bloody mary in hand at 7 AM on the first leg of out flight. This is Mike's first--opposed to the guy in front of us who has already been cut off on this flight. Ah that crazy honeymoon spirit. So far things have gone off without a hitch. We got picked up at 4:30 and made it to the airport without any issues. I have only told the lady at the counter checking out bags so far that this was our honeymoon. She got all excited...but no balloons or champagne or anything. If anyone is wondering on this vacation I will be reading a book. I usually try not to read anything but magazines, the NY Post, and TMZ (So long TomKat!) but I feel that maybe I should grow up and actually read some thing that is more than 1000 words long. This week I will be reading "Beautiful Ruins" by Jess Walter. I am hooked. It's a story that spans 1960s Italy all the way to present day Hollywood. If this book fails, I have Andy Cohen's book to fall back on. Figure some trashy Real Housewives stuff will keep me honest.

Things I promise this trip...

1. I promise to proofread.  As I was reliving our Napa trip on the blog, I realized I type horribly. My posts were full of poor grammar and spelling; some of the worst on the internet. Who would have thought I was married to a English Teacher? Or that I was a Writing major? Now one caveat to this promise is I am not bringing a laptop and only bringing my IPad.  So maybe this promise will be broken.
2. I promise to keep a running total of how many times I tell people this is "our honeymoon".  Really hoping to either score some free stuff or upgrades along the way and I also hope to scare the crap  out of some of the more socially conservative folks we meet on the trip.  I can't wait for the first: "Where are your wives?" question posed to us.
3. I promise more pictures and even MORE drawings.  I like to do drawings.
4. I promise more adventure, more action, more romance, more meal descriptions and generally more moreness.
5. I promise to not go scuba diving because I am literally breaking out in hives thinking that Mike might want to do that.
6. I promise to remind you that July 6 is my birthday a few times.  My date of birth is July 6.

Really I think that is enough promises.  I have promised enough.  If I could actually do the math I would finish this post with a the time left before our flight leaves but it got complicated. So until tomorrow...